I head my way to the cafeteria, bumping into children, desperate for food. With every step, I feel my stomach growling. As I enter the volcano sized cafeteria, filled with different people in different groups, I stare at all the foods that were being prepared. Some looked cooked. Others looked raw. Perhaps the raw ones were not even touched by a chef’s hands yet.
I started to walk into a long line of other kids who were waiting for their food. The line seemed so long, it felt as if it stretched across the Sahara desert. I could hear all the conversations at once, but most mixed into a blur and my mind went blank for a few seconds until I saw her. Laura! Wait. I saw another figure sitting next to her. She already made a friend? But, I was supposed to be her friend! Only me! The feeling of jealousy boiled in my stomach as my hands slowly stiffened into fists. I walked more and more into the line as it shortened.
Each step forward felt like a heavy weight pressing down on me. The clatter of trays and the hum of voices became background noise to the storm brewing inside me. I glanced over at Laura again. She was laughing, her eyes sparkling in a way that made my chest tighten. Who was that person sitting with her? What did they have that I didn’t?
As I finally reached the front of the line, the lunch lady handed me a tray. I grabbed it, barely noticing the food she placed on it. My mind was focused on Laura. I needed to get to her, to find out what was going on. My feet moved automatically towards her table, navigating through the crowded cafeteria.
When I reached her table, I hesitated for a moment. The new friend looked up at me with curious eyes. Laura’s laughter died down as she noticed me standing there. “Hey,” I said, trying to keep my voice steady. “Can I sit here?”
Laura glanced at her new friend and then back at me. “Of course,” she said with a smile, but I could see the hesitation in her eyes. “This is Sarah. We met in math class.”
“Hi, Sarah,” I muttered, forcing a smile. “Nice to meet you.”
Sarah smiled back politely, but I could feel the tension in the air. I sat down, my tray untouched. The food that had seemed so important a few minutes ago was now forgotten. My mind raced with thoughts of Laura and Sarah, the fear of being replaced before I barely knew much about her gnawing at me.
Laura tried to include me in the conversation, but I could only manage half-hearted responses. My jealousy was like thick fog, clouding my thoughts and making it hard to focus. I needed to find a way to push through it, to remind myself that friendships could grow and change without losing their value.
As lunch went on, I tried to remind myself of the time Laura and I had shared in the English classroom, the bond we had built.
I took a deep breath, determined to make an effort. “So, Sarah, what do you think of math class so far?” I asked, trying to sound genuinely interested.
Sarah’s face lit up, and she began talking about her favorite topics and the things she found challenging. I listened, trying to push my jealousy aside and really hear what she was saying. But it was as hard as moving a boulder up the highest mountain. I want to tear them apart. But how?
To Be Continued…
